Today I let go. I decided that shame, control, perfection and inadequacy are not going to be a part of my story any longer. As a child of 2 alcoholics, I finally decided to forgave myself and those who raised and loved me. 

I am not alone or unique. The patterning that children of alcoholics exhibit is complex. I have been in and out of therapy for over 25 years dealing off and on with co-dependancy issues. I thought I had come so far via therapy until depression hit me so bad this weekend that I could not shake it. With it came increasingly disturbing dreams of despair and destruction. I thought to myself what was the root of all this? 

Oh... the pain of someone's words. Someone I love very deeply. Someone I respect and love unconditionally. The words cut me so deep I cried for days on end. I didn't think that I could get past what was said. The sorrow opened my heart and made me take a look at my responsibility in all of it. Was I holding onto something that was not serving me? Yes. I decided in order to move on, I had to forgive and visit the places that scare me.

So, the grand finale is here. The work of healing the inner child begins. It's time to place that last piece into the puzzle. It's time to honor the child, hug her and acknowledge that the past can't harm us any more. It's time to let go, let God and step into the future without trudging through the muck of the past. I know that it will happen with Divine guidance and grace. I am grateful to leave this earth knowing that freedom rings at last...

Blessings, Merry
P.S. Please remember that words are powerful. They hold the magic to empower or explode. They're precious. Please be careful with them.