Yesterday I was stuck in a story. It started to unravel just before going into the library for my night shift. I realize that I don't want to go and that I've not wanted to go in for a very long time. And although I repeatedly tell the story, nothing actually happens. I take no action to correct my complacency. Fatigued, I realized that I need to be uber conscious of my words and actions today.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed again and I knew that it was time to go into discovery mode. For starters it's been a long week: I've not been sleeping well for the past 3 nights, I've been pulling a lot of all nighters, and I've started a new exercise program. It's no wonder I'm feeling out of sorts. As I sit in meditation, the phrase, "I'm in prison" comes up. As I process my thoughts using the Work, it is in the last turn-around statement that I uncovered my truth. "I'm in prison." "They put me in prison." "I put myself in prison." Ouch.
Truth be told, I've made a choice. I realize that our pains are our gains from wanting to hold on to our story. I realize that I am receiving something by sticking to it. No one is making me stay there except my own fear of growing. I ask myself am I willing to own what I have committed to? The answer is yes. My Higher Self accepts that when the time is right, I will leave.
I pull four Tarot cards around the situation and they all come up reversed: The Chariot indicates that even though I have been up-ended, I am not ready to choose a direction; the Queen of Swords states that I lack clarity in my thought process and that I should not be making any decisions while in this state of mind; the 8 of pentacles reveals that because of the two cards that proceed it, my perception is that there is no pay off for all of the work I'm putting in; and finally the 8 of wands indicates that my current emotional state is misguided and that any potential opportunities will not be seen in the proper light. The repeating 8s suggest that my emotional state is overriding my decision-making capabilities at the moment and the absence of cups alludes to the fact that I am not taking the time to nurture myself. As I work through the process I hear guidance say, "This too shall pass" and I ask the Universe for patience.
Have you ever found yourself stuck in a story? Perhaps it's around a job that no longer serves you. Maybe it's a relationship that has run it's course. If so, how are you nurturing yourself and working through it? I'd love to know.
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Merry is an Intuitive Strategist and Certified Life Coach. She specializes in helping others succeed in relationships and in life.