Is Someone Secretly Controlling You? Here are 5 Tactics Manipulators Use in Everyday Life.

Have you ever felt like someone was controlling your life without you realising it?

Maybe it’s your partner, your boss, or even a lawyer during your divorce.

You feel confused, anxious, and powerless.

It’s not in your head.

You’re not imagining it.

You’re being manipulated.

And it’s happening through Reptilian Theory—a tactic that taps into the most primal part of your brain, exploiting your survival instincts and keeping you trapped in a cycle of fear and control.

People who use these tactics don’t need to yell or scream. They know exactly how to push your buttons in ways that go straight to your core.

They make you feel unsafe, uncertain, and unworthy—all while subtly pulling your strings.

And it happens everywhere: relationships, the workplace, even legal battles.

Consider this: You’re going through a divorce, already feeling vulnerable and emotionally raw.

​Divorce lawyers have been using Reptilian Theory for years to manipulate the outcome of cases.

How?

By playing on the jury’s deepest fears.

They don’t just argue with logic—they tap into primal emotions, like fear of loss or financial ruin, to sway decisions.

They know that when someone’s survival instincts are triggered, reason and facts don’t matter.

Take the OJ Simpson trial as an example.

The defense played on racial tension and distrust of authority, swaying the jury not by facts, but by triggering their deepest fears and survival instincts. (I was a Court Reporting student at the time of the trial and verdict)

But it doesn’t stop there.

Manipulative partners use these same tactics during divorce negotiations.

They create fear about your financial future, your children’s well-being, and your ability to live without them.

They make you feel dependent, isolated, and powerless.

The goal?

To make you fold, to make you settle for less, to make you think you need them.

You start questioning your own choices.

You wonder if maybe they’re right, maybe you aren’t capable of handling it all on your own.

That’s the manipulation working.

They thrive on your fear, your insecurity, and your chaos.

Why do they use these tactics?

Because they work.

​When someone can tap into your reptilian brain—the part of you that’s hardwired for survival—they gain complete control.

They manipulate your fear of losing everything, your need for security, and your desire for safety.

Once they’ve activated those fears, they can make you do almost anything to avoid disaster.

In divorces, bosses keeping you in line, or relationships where you feel stuck, this manipulation is happening all the time.

It’s not about love, care, or justice.

It’s about control.

How It Works in Everyday Life

Fear as a Weapon in Relationships
In a controlling relationship, your partner keeps you afraid—afraid of being alone, of being financially unstable, or of losing custody of your children.

They convince you that without them, you’ll fail.

This fear makes you stay, settle, and give in.

Scarcity and Urgency in Workplaces
Some bosses use Reptilian Theory to keep employees in check.

They make you feel like opportunities are scarce, so you’d better take what you can get.

They rush you into decisions, making you believe that if you don’t act now, you’ll miss out.

That’s why so many people stay in toxic jobs—they’re convinced there’s nothing better out there.

Isolation in Divorce Negotiations
A manipulative ex will isolate you during a divorce, making you feel like no one else understands, that only they can help you navigate the mess.

They’ll alienate you from support systems, ensuring that you’re too emotionally weak to fight back.

The more isolated you are, the more power they have.

Chaos and Confusion in Legal Battles
Lawyers using Reptilian Theory thrive on chaos.

They make things complicated so you don’t understand what’s happening.

The more overwhelmed you feel, the more you defer to their judgment.
You lose your voice in your own case.

Guilt and Shame in Everyday Life
Whether it’s a partner, family member, or boss, these manipulators make you feel responsible for their happiness or success.

They guilt-trip you into doing what they want. 

​You end up prioritising their needs over your own, feeling like you’re always letting them down if you don’t comply.

How to Spot It...

If you think someone is using these tactics on you, here’s how to recognise the signs:

• Fear and Anxiety Are Constant: You always feel on edge, worried about what might happen if you make the wrong move. You feel like everything could fall apart at any second, and they’re the only one who can stop it.
• You’re Being Rushed: Whether it’s at work, in a relationship, or during a legal battle, you’re constantly being rushed into decisions. They create a sense of urgency, pushing you to act quickly so you don’t have time to think clearly.
• You’re Cut Off from Others: Are they keeping you isolated? You’ve lost touch with friends, family, or colleagues. They convince you that no one else understands your situation, making you feel dependent on them for guidance.
• You’re in a Constant State of Confusion: Every conversation leaves you more confused than when it started. They twist your words, deflect blame, and make you question your own memory or judgment.
• You Feel Responsible for Their Happiness: They make you feel guilty for wanting to set boundaries or stand up for yourself. You feel like their needs and emotions are more important than your own.

How to Take Back Control

You don’t have to stay stuck in this manipulative cycle.

Awareness is the first step to breaking free.

Once you recognise these patterns, you can start taking back your power.

Here’s How:

1. Ground Yourself: When you’re grounded, it’s much harder for someone to manipulate your emotions. Center yourself through meditation, mindfulness, or energy work so you can see things clearly.
2. Rebuild Your Support Network: Reach out to the people who truly care about you. Reconnect with friends, family, or colleagues who can give you the perspective and support you need to see through the manipulation.
3. Trust Your Intuition: Deep down, you know when something feels off. Trust that feeling. If something doesn’t sit right with you, it probably isn’t.
4. Set Boundaries: Boundaries are your shield against manipulation. Don’t let guilt or fear stop you from standing up for yourself.

Ready to Break Free from Manipulation?

If you’re feeling controlled, manipulated, or unsure if someone is using Reptilian tactics on you—whether it’s in your relationship, your job, or your divorce—it’s time to take back control of your life.

In an Intuitive Intelligence Consultation, I’ll help you recognise these hidden tactics, clear your energy, and get back in touch with your inner strength.

You don’t have to live in fear, chaos, or confusion any longer.

Book your session today, and let’s start clearing the path to your freedom.

With strength and clarity,
Merry